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The Krusty President (Spongebob Squarepants Fanfiction)
The Krusty President (Spongebob Squarepants Fanfiction) Synopsis An election is held at The Krusty Krab, and all possibilities break out. Characters Spongebob Squarepants Eugene H. Krabs Squidward Tentacles Patrick Star Sheldon J. Plankton Sandy Cheeks Gary The Snail Old Man Jenkins Hobbs The Story The story begins at The Krusty Krab. Mr.Krabs is at the register muttering arrgh repeatedly. MR.KRABS: Arrgh..Arrgh..Arrgh! SPONGEBOB: Mr.Krabs, can you please stop repeatedly muttering Arrgh. MR.KRABS: Mr.Squidward is two hours late for work! I know he sucks eggs at his job but this is just nuts! Squidward walks through the front doors finishing some Espresso and playing Bubble Crush on his Phone. MR.KRABS: Well, look who decided to show up! SQUIDWARD: Buzz off. MR.KRABS: First of all, I told ye that you can’t go and get your morning espresso! All Krusty Krab Employees must wake up at 5:30 AM, arrive at 6:30, complain at 7:30 and suffer throughout 8:30. SPONGEBOB: He’s right you know. Mr.Krabs then notices that Squidward is paying more attention to his phone. MR.KRABS: And I was wondering why this city is screwed up, it's not because of me greed, you keep playing on that stupid tech selfie snap device! What happened to sandboarding down mountains or climbing up ladders and watching lassies dance like in my day?!! SQUIDWARD: You don’t even know what a shell phone is, hey, want to send the 13 colonies a letter from the typewriter while you’re at it? MR.KRABS: Oh! Now you done it! Mr.Krabs grabs Squidward’s phone. SQUIDWARD: Hey! He enters the Kitchen walking past Spongebob and throws the phone into the fry batter. SQUIDWARD: HEY!!! MR.KRABS: Now get to work! I ain’t payin you to use those stupid device thingies! SQUIDWARD: You don’t pay me or anybody or anything at all! Last December, you gave us Monopoly Paper Money instead of our Christmas Bonuses, you stole a $20 bill I had lent to my mother and refused to pay it back, and the Ceilings are made of Cardboard!! SQUIDWARD: CARDBOARD PAPER! A shot of the Ceiling is shown labeled, “VERY USELESS CARDBOARD PAPER.” Mr.Krabs chews on a toothpick. MR.KRABS: Your point? SQUIDWARD: My point is, you never let us have fun at all! You are a rich corporate stinking cheapskate and even if a rainstorm happened and all that cardboard paper you call a roof washed away, you will regret it! MR.KRABS: We’re underwater Squidward. SQUIDWARD: Oh yeah. MR.KRABS: Ha! If you want the things to get better, which they are perfect for me right now, why don’t you become the new boss! Which you can’t! SPONGEBOB: Or how about President? MR.KRABS & SQUIDWARD: Huh? SPONGEBOB: Run for President of The Krusty Krab! Who do we democratically vote for? Squidward Tentacles and his new exciting vision for the Krusty Krab, or do we stick to old school and Mr.Krabs? SQUIDWARD: Uhhh. MR.KRABS: I can handle an election! I’ve been voting since the 60’s! And I will beat six legs over here and become Boss/President of The Krusty Krab! SQUIDWARD: Oh is that so? Add me in! You are going down old man! The Krusty Krab with me as president, will finally catch up with the times! Old Man Jenkins is shown in the corner slowly applying his old wrinkly fingers to an old typewriter. OLD MAN JENKINS: Is it 1920 yet? The scene cuts to Patrick Star entering The Krusty Krab prepared to order a Krabby Patty but as he is walking in, he is confused to see Mr.Krabs and Squidward glaring at each other while posting many Presidential Campaign signs. Spongebob staples up some more signs and then notices Patrick. SPONGEBOB: Hey Patrick! Want to vote? PATRICK: Hey Spongebob! What’s a vote? SPONGEBOB: Your choice to pick somebody you want that is influential to lead you. PATRICK: What is an influential? SPONGEBOB: An important person. PATRICK: What is an important?.. SPONGEBOB: Do you want a Krabby Patty? PATRICK: Ditto! Spongebob heads into the Kitchen to cook up some patties for his friend. Patrick takes a seat on a barrel. Mr.Krabs pulls up a barrel and goes to try and get support from his best customer. MR.KRABS: Hey Roger! PATRICK: Uhh, but I thought I was named Patrick. MR.KRABS: Right, whatever, anyways, vote for me, Eugene Krabs, as your current and next President of the Krusty Krab! PATRICK: You’re not a President! MR.KRABS: And why do ye think that? PATRICK: Presidents don’t keep money to themselves, they help their whatever they are doing and they don’t drive people to suicide! Mr.Krabs starts getting frustrated. MR.KRABS: Do you want me as President or not, you pink buffoon?!! PATRICK: No! I don’t want to pay $3.00 for a patty! That is ridiculous! Mr.Krabs grabs out a baseball bat. MR.KRABS: Plan B it is. Spongebob delivers some Patties to the table and hands Krabs $3 covering Pat’s meal. Krabs snatches the money. MR.KRABS: Vote for me! He leaves. Squidward finishes writing his campaign slogan. SQUIDWARD: “Yesterday Krusty, Today Squiddy.” Perfect! PATRICK: Hey Squidward! SQUIDWARD: What, idiot? PATRICK: Are you running for President whatever as well? SQUIDWARD: As a matter of fact I am. I will be the greatest president to ever lead this smelly restaurant into actual success, great business decisions and.. Patrick grabs one of Squidward’s vote buttons and eats it. SQUIDWARD: PATRICK!!! Patrick burps. PATRICK: Your speech bored me! I eat when I get bored! Squidward gets redheaded and then grabs a random rake nearby and holds it in the air. SQUIDWARD: GO!!! Patrick runs away. PATRICK: But it’s still Summer! Sandy walks in. SANDY: Howdy! MR.KRABS: Vote for me! SQUIDWARD: No me! SANDY: Stand down you bottomfeeders! Wow! I just want some Coral Bits. Spongebob serves her some coral bits. SPONGEBOB: Had some laying around. SANDY: Sweet! After she eats them. SANDY: So I assume somebody is running for President. Of what? MR.KRABS: The Krusty Krab. SQUIDWARD: Vote for me! MR.KRABS: Me lassie! I was in three wars! You wouldn’t be livin if it wasn’t for me service! SANDY: Now hold on there you guys. I can’t vote for anybody until I see a list of their campaign promises. Aka, what do you guys plan to do in your endeavor to run for this office? SQUIDWARD: Simple! First, no more cardboard paper roofs! It will now be Artificial Wood! Second! We will upgrade from rusty old typewriters to brand new Shell-Pads! With SOS 11! And finally! Work times bumping up from 7:30 to 9:30! For sleep! Old Man Jenkins pops up. OLD MAN JENKINS: Works for me! Mr.Krabs slides in pushing Jenkins out of the way. OLD MAN JENKINS: I don’t want to be a burden. MR.KRABS: Vote for me! So I can continue keeping the Krusty Krab the same along with continuing to incinerate me taxes, bills and electricity payments! Arrgh,Arrgh,Arrgh! Some Light bulbs flicker out due to a lack of paid electricity bills. SANDY: Hmmmm. SPONGEBOB: Voting’s at 3. SANDY: I’m in! Sheldon J. Plankton walks in. PLANKTON: Sweet! Voting! Democratically awesome! Until I rule the world of course. Mr.Krabs grabs Plankton in a chokehold. MR.KRABS: Beat it Peapod! Big People voting only! PLANKTON: You can’t prevent me from voting! SPONGEBOB: He’s right! Democratic voting calls for people of ages over the Kid Years and Plankton, well…. PATRICK: He’s an old geezer! PLANKTON: Says you YOU STUPID PINK CONEHEAD! Mr.Krabs growls under his breath. SQUIDWARD: The rules Eugene! The rules! MR.KRABS: Errgh! Fine! If I win, no formuler for you! Stopping you is first priority! PLANKTON: Pfft, like I would vote for you anyways. The scene cuts to the ballots just before 3 PM. Patrick, Sandy, Plankton and also Gary The Snail wait in line. Jenkins exits the ballot booth. SPONGEBOB: Thank you for voting Mr.Jenkins! Hahaha! OLD MAN JENKINS: Build that wal.. SANDY: Absolutely not! Old Man Jenkins leaves. Patrick enters the booth but has trouble at a toss up of either voting for Krabs, a cheapskate always robbing him of his hard earned stolen money or Squidward, whom he thinks is not Presidential material. PATRICK: I DIDN’T STUDY! Patrick begins bawling his eyes out. Squidward overhears it. SQUIDWARD: JUST WRITE KRABS OR SQUIDWARD! OR JUST SQUIDWARD! Patrick grabs out a pencil. He is about to write but the led breaks. PATRICK: Oh, come on! Patrick gets out his mayonnaise and writes with that. He finally exits. SQUIDWARD: About time. PLANKTON: Tell me about it. SPONGEBOB: Next up Sandy! Sandy places her vote in. SANDY: Southern Style! SPONGEBOB: Plankton! Plankton is about to walk in but can’t help noticing Mr.Krabs giving him dirty looks. He places his vote in. He walks out. MR.KRABS: Ye better have voted for me cyclops. SPONGEBOB: And finally Gare-Bear! GARY: Meow Meow Gary is carried in since his slithering will take all day. He places his vote in and is carried back out. SPONGEBOB: Alright now time to place my vote! Spongebob does it. 2:59 PM. SPONGEBOB: All right! 1 minute until the ballots close! Get ready! Squidward grabs out his wish bone and pleads with it to win. Patrick falls asleep, Sandy experiments with vinegar and Plankton tries finding the formula online. When nobody is looking, Mr.Krabs sneaks inside. MR.KRABS: Heeheehee! He proceeds to add in several cheat vote slips all labelled “Mr.Krabs,” while having a sinister smile on his face. Unknown to him though, Spongebob has already taken the real Ballot Box out in case if one of the candidates tried to cheat. 3 PM. SPONGEBOB: Okay! Time for the results! MR.KRABS: Here we go! Squidward gets nervous. SPONGEBOB: Jenkins’ vote goes to.. Mr.Krabs. MR.KRABS: I knew I could count on ye buddy! Arrgh! Arrgh! OLD MAN JENKINS: Oh… I thought Krabs was the name of the octopus. SPONGEBOB: Patrick’s vote goes to….. Patrick? PATRICK: Patrick doesn’t vote for anybody but Patrick! SANDY: Okay PLANKTON: Buffoon. SPONGEBOB: Sandy’s vote goes to… Squidward! SQUIDWARD: Yes! MR.KRABS: Errgh. SPONGEBOB: Plankton’s vote goes to… Squidward! Mr.Krabs literally kicks/launches Plankton out of the restaurant with quite the foot, in anger. PLANKTON: I’LL DESTROY ALL OF YOU!!! He lands onto the Chum Bucket Roof. PLANKTON: Ouch. SPONGEBOB: And finally, my Gare-Bear’s vote goes to……. Squidward! PRESIDENT SQUIDWARD TENTACLES!! Sandy and Spongebob clap. Patrick falls asleep again and Gary looks bored. SQUIDWARD: WAHOO!!! MR.KRABS: DEFICIT!!! A couple hours pass. Mr.Krabs is in the dining area sniffling and packing up his belongings. Squidward, feeling no remorse, kicks back and relaxes in the chair drinking some tea and happy to become the new Krusty Krab President. Spongebob cleans the Cardboard Roofs when a man with a tag titled “Mr.Hobbs” enters. The man walks up to Krabs. MAN: Excuse me sir. Are you the management of this restuarant. MR.KRABS: Yes uh, wait, no… not anymore. New guy’s in the office over there. MAN: Alright whatever. The man enters the office to talk to President Squidward. SQUIDWARD: Who are you and what do you want? MAN: My name is Hobbs, or Mr.Hobbs, you can call me either,.. I presume you are the management of this fast food business. SQUIDWARD: President of this soon to be elegant exquisite meals industry! What do you need? HOBBS: I am here to inform you that you have 3 days until we shut down any and all production here. SQUIDWARD: WHAT?! Why?! Hobbs puts on his spectacles and grabs out a long list. Spongebob and Mr.Krabs peek in hearing Squidward’s loud voice tone. HOBBS: The Krusty Krab is neck deep up to economical debt. You need to pay $7,063 for electricity, $4,010 for mortgage, $2500 for Workers Rights, $5550 for the Union and $1862 for any and all missed tax returns. In other words, you should’ve invested or bought a warranty. Squidward’s eye twitches since he doesn’t have all this cash, let alone ten pennies. Hobbs leaves, like any other agent, with no care in the world. Squidward begins throwing a temper tantrum that his Presidency is pretty much over after just beginning. SQUIDWARD: WHY ME?!! WHY ALWAYS MEHEEE?!!!!! SPONGEBOB: Um, uh, I need to go feed Gary. Spongebob scurries out but Krabs remains. MR.KRABS: Oh arr, it seems you really got quite the money issue here Squidward. SQUIDWARD: BECAUSE OF YOU! IF YOU HADN’T BEEN SUCH A CHEAPSKATE AND ACTUALLY PAID YOUR PAYMENTS ON TIME, WE WOULDN’T BE IN DEBT AND I COULD BE A GOOD PRESIDENT!!! Mr.Krabs takes a seat. MR.KRABS: There is a reason why I can be such a super cheapskate at times. SQUIDWARD: Pfft, I know, you found a dollar bill in a lady’s purse, snatched it, and have become miserly ever since! MR.KRABS: No, it’s because, I don’t want you two to be as that Hobbs guy said, Neck Deep in Debt. Squidward takes a seat. SQUIDWARD: Come again? MR.KRABS: I have a system, an anonymous classified one, it covers any and all of your payments at both your house and the boy’s. All your bills, insurance, electricity, whatever, is covered, without having to spend cash. I was able to keep the Krusty Krab open all of these years with this system so that way I wouldn’t pay you money which would lead you right into a slew of financial trouble. That’s why I didn’t want ye to become President, because, if I go, the system goes, and if the system goes, so do your houses, the Krusty Krab, and the very clothes ye wear. Don’t become a cheapskate like me Mr.Squidward, be generous, be thankful and don’t do what I did. Understand? Squidward thinks it over a bit but then makes a decision. SQUIDWARD: I resign. You’re President or should I say boss again. MR.KRABS: Thank you, good choice. SQUIDWARD: BUT WHAT IF YOU’RE LYING SO YOU COULD RULE THE ROOST AGAIN?!! MR.KRABS: Or how about you need to take your intelligence pill? SQUIDWARD: ……… Welcome back Eugene. MR.KRABS: Back at you Mr.Squidward. Mr.Krabs picks up a dart and throws it at a picture of Hobbs, who will never get ahold of Eugene’s money. MR.KRABS: Bullseye! Category:SquidwardTentacles35 Category:Fanfictions